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Post by Alonzo on Nov 24, 2011 2:04:45 GMT -5
Alonzo let out a cry of surprise, as he felt his hands somewhere that they were less and less fond of being and felt another hand somewhere that a queen hadn't touched in what felt like forever. God I'm getting gay...
He pulled his hands away and fell a few steps back, "what the fuck?"
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Post by Kitrina on Nov 24, 2011 2:08:33 GMT -5
She stared at him, so many things coming to mind, so, so many.
"You're gay?!" She spluttered, at that point about in tears, barely refraining. Oh God, she'd get killed, but--Alonzo had said mad at her... sleeping with Munkustrap...
"You're not trying to kill me because I'm--"
Unable to finish. A reality sinking in.
"You're sleeping with him... he left me for you. He... you... I... Everlasting Cat, why do you hate me so much?!" She pulled her shirt back down moments before covering her hands over her eyes as she started to weep.
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Post by Alonzo on Nov 24, 2011 2:13:46 GMT -5
Alonzo shook his head...OK, one question at a time.
"I'm not gay, I'm bi," he started, "and I don't want to kill you or anyone else ever, much less right now." He took a breath, "yes I'm sleeping with him, but no he didn't leave you for me, we just fool around." There was a little twinge in his face at that, something that Kit would no doubt have noticed had her face not been in her hands. "And I do not, have not, and, unless you do something really awful, will not ever hate you."
He cautiously approached again. "Now...will you stop crying please and start making sense again?"
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Post by Kitrina on Nov 24, 2011 2:17:48 GMT -5
"I can't explain it," she cried, feet twisting as she tried to kick the plastic off before she resigned to drawing her knees to her chest, curling a bit, wanting to cover herself, to hide, to disappear. There was so much damage. If he was bi and he pulled away, then there was a problem. She'd failed--Chris would have said she'd failed, she never would have wanted him upset. He got so angry. But he found her hot. At least someone did. At least he did.
Munkustrap didn't.
Munkustrap and Alonzo fooling around...
She felt sick.
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Post by Alonzo on Nov 24, 2011 2:23:11 GMT -5
Alonzo was at a complete loss for what to do, the only sensible emotion going through his head was his being pissed off at Munk for letting this happen in the first place.
"W-what...?" he stammered, "I...I...just...what?"
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Post by Kitrina on Nov 24, 2011 2:27:59 GMT -5
"I just can't, okay?!" she snapped, dropping her hands, teary eyes glaring at Alonzo in what wasn't ferocious but clearly self-protection. Hiding secrets, hiding something horrific. "Because then you will hate me, and maybe not you but someone will kill me. And I already feel shitty enough that the only tom I fell for after Chris was fucking me with no feeling, that he lied, that he's fucking around with you, and who knows who else, and--and--Everlasting Cat, is this punishment? What the hell did I do so wrong to deserve this? It's been years since he was killed--why can't--why isn't--why--"
Her eyes scrunched up, and she lay on her back on the ground. "Maybe it'd be better if you guys killed me if the alternative was living like this every day," she muttered sarcastically.
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Post by Alonzo on Nov 24, 2011 2:33:09 GMT -5
"For God's sake!" Alonzo said, attempting to insert some sanity back into this whole situation, "no-one is going to kill you woman! Why do you keep saying that they will? And from my view you aren't getting punished so much as forcing punishment on yourself."
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Post by Kitrina on Nov 24, 2011 16:51:32 GMT -5
"You know nothing about me. Are you deaf? I already told you I can't say anything." She sat upright and worked at the plastic, twisting it around her foot to get it off. When one was out successfully, she worked at the other, refusing to make eye contact with Alonzo.
High and mighty, like Munkustrap. It was probably a joke. It was Demeter's fault--Demeter got her trying, maybe even hopeful that acting differently would earn respect. Instead, she got this shit. She'd be the villain. That asshole.
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Post by Alonzo on Nov 24, 2011 17:10:36 GMT -5
Alonzo was officially frustrated, "for someone who can't say anything you certainly say an awful lot you know!" He palmed his forehead, "someone died, I get it, that's awful, but for goodness sake, queens get dumped by toms every day, and vice versa too. It's not the bloody end of the world!"
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Post by Kitrina on Nov 24, 2011 19:57:27 GMT -5
Kitrina got to her feet abruptly, visibly offended as she tried to stalk off but only succeeded in a stiff, angry limp. She wouldn't deal with Alonzo. Not like this. That fucking asshole scaring the shit out of her.
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Post by Alonzo on Nov 24, 2011 22:45:42 GMT -5
Alonzo shook his head, letting her go. Fucking chick was insane...he was right there with her for a while with the Munk stuff, but then...something about a guy dying and people killing her. It was way too weird for him.
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Post by pike on Nov 24, 2011 23:32:59 GMT -5
Munkustrap stayed by the watch area he said he'd be, waiting, wondering whether Alonzo would return or not. Wondering how it went with Kit.
Mad at himself... for still thinking that'd have been an amazing threesome. God. It was good he had such a good friend as Alonzo.
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Post by Alonzo on Nov 24, 2011 23:38:48 GMT -5
Alonzo stormed off towards where Munkustrap said that he'd be, not at all happy. God dammit Munk...leaving me with that crazy broad.
As Munk came into view he made no effort to make himself known, Munk would see him soon enough. That and he didn't quite trust himself to open his mouth just now. Especially since he couldn't decide whether he wanted to yell at Munk or jump his bones.
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Post by pike on Nov 24, 2011 23:47:20 GMT -5
Munkustrap looked up with a worried expression as he got to his feet. "How was she?" he asked. He walked to Alonzo and touched his shoulder. "Again, thanks.... for checking me. Only a real friend would do that."
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Post by Alonzo on Nov 24, 2011 23:53:46 GMT -5
"How was she? How was she?" Alonzo was aghast, "she was freaking out Munk! At first she was just sad, but then she started going on and on about someone killing her and thinking that someone was going to kill her." Alonzo threw his hands up, "she's insane!"
He sat himself down, pulling Munk by his hand to sit with him. "Please never make me do that again."
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Post by pike on Nov 24, 2011 23:59:51 GMT -5
"... you didn't tell her I told you about the scar, did you?" Munkustrap said, looking a little pale as he squeezed Alonzo's hands and sat down. He sighed. "Damn it... I knew it'd be bad. Especially after what happened to her. Or supposedly did, unless she's a spy" He glanced at Alonzo. "That her mate worked for Macavity. She was sort of the gang's fuck toy. Was raped as she watched her mate and kittens get killed in front of her. Slit throats and bellies..." Munkustrap stopped himself. The image alone made him sick.
"Tugger thinks she's faking it but if she acted like that with you..." His voice trailed off. "I shouldn't have fucked her. It was hard though... like after she started. I mean, we were drunk, so that made it okay. Just really drunk. And she initiated it from a dare. But then so much more. And she'd smile. Was so tight, would do anything I asked her to. Just so... easy. Simple... for something dramatic."
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Post by Alonzo on Nov 25, 2011 0:05:55 GMT -5
Alonzo flinched at Munk's words, "I didn't tell her anything Munk." He sighed, "dear God, did you know about her mate and kit's getting killed before you fucked her? How could you keep doing that if you knew what she went through?"
He wished desperately that he could just be angry at Munk, but he wasn't, you could tell by the way his eyes were looking up at him.
God he wished he wasn't such a pushover.
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Post by pike on Nov 25, 2011 0:10:50 GMT -5
"No! I mean, not the first time... Tugger came in and I woke up and she just... was there... we saw the scar... asked her about it, she freaked, and well... told us. Tugger thinks she's faking it, but I mean..." He paused. "I don't know. I guess I wanted to believe her. Or well, didn't want to treat her differently, and it was lonely. And it felt good to be wanted, to feel liked. I didn't think it'd be too much more than that but..." A deep exhaled. "Did she really like me a lot?"
He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm such a scumbag."
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Post by Alonzo on Nov 25, 2011 0:14:38 GMT -5
"She like you more than you realize Munk," Alonzo said, leaning into the other. "Believe you me Munk," he said, "she wasn't faking it. Isn't faking it."
"At least you stopped it though," Alonzo said, not really refuting Munk's statement.
"And I want you Munk, I like you."
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Post by pike on Nov 25, 2011 0:22:58 GMT -5
"I couldn't have without you," Munkustrap said, sighing as he wrapped his arms around Alonzo, pulling him close. "I like you, too. You were always the one I could trust so much." Though maybe a different sort of degree or comprehension. Not overwhelming like Plato, almost underwhelming. A fear of hurting, wanting to love so much, and consequentially hurting others sometimes.
He lay back, pulling Alonzo with him just to be close. "If you weren't so head over heels for Plato, I'd say maybe you should set him up with her, distract her a bit. Though I guess that never works in reality."
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Post by Alonzo on Nov 25, 2011 0:30:17 GMT -5
Alonzo almost melted into Munk, his words making his feel like butterflies were going crazy in his stomach. Head over heels for Plato...yes, there was that. But what about Munk now? Maybe he should just give Plato up as a bad job; he wasn't able to comprehend Alonzo's feelings. Maybe...just maybe Munk was.
I'm kind of head over heels for you too Munk...I think I might... "love you." The words were out as hardly a whisper, a thought that had forced its way out of his mouth before he could pull it back.
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Post by pike on Nov 25, 2011 0:34:39 GMT -5
Munkustrap blinked then. "... Uh..." He squeezed Alonzo tighter though there was a clear conflict on his face. Munkustrap loved everyone. He tried to make sure of that. That he wasn't singling cats out. The difference between platonic love and lust and romantic love....
Oh my.
"I uh... I don't know how to respond to that," he said honestly, in that way only Munkustrap really could do. He nuzzled up closer to Alonzo, though the worry was on his face. "That's kinda... huge. And what about Plato?"
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Post by Alonzo on Nov 25, 2011 0:45:12 GMT -5
Alonzo blushed as he fully realized what he'd said, "I'm sorry...I...I shouldn't have said anything." He sighed, "Plato...I just don't know about him. He can't ever really understand you know? I just...with you at least I know what's what."
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Post by pike on Nov 25, 2011 0:49:24 GMT -5
"No. The opposite. You have a right to say what's on your mind, what you feel, as long as it doesn't hurt others." He paused. "No, as long as it doesn't deliberately hurt others... hurting others sometimes is inevitable..." Kit... "I just... don't want to say something when... it's confusing, you know?"
He sighed, ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know what to say about that... He's..." He stalled, shook his head. "His name's appropriate for those sorts of Greek tragedies, even if Plato was a philosopher. A bit doomed, not his fault, but you can't punish yourself for him being... slow. Maybe it's not even real love with him but obligation. I mean, he's not bad looking. But..." He eyed Alonzo, then closed his eyes. Stress.
God, he could be a bad man sometimes.
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Post by Alonzo on Nov 25, 2011 0:54:22 GMT -5
"Believe me," Alonzo said, "I understand about confusing." He pulled his feet into his chest, "a couple of months ago I'd never have even dreamed of anything like this happening, and now all of a sudden my world is all upside down."
Obligation...not real love...could that be it? It didn't feel like it, not to him. "I don't know what it is Munk, and I hate not knowing."
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Post by pike on Nov 25, 2011 20:22:15 GMT -5
"I can't commit to anything," Munkustrap finally said, bluntly. "I just... it's hard to explain. It's not that I don't like you, but... well... I just can't commit to anything yet. It's hard when one sort of..." He tried motioning with his hands as if it'd help the thought, but the thought died. He shook his head, smiled, sighed.
"It sucks is all."
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Post by Alonzo on Nov 26, 2011 2:38:26 GMT -5
"I get that," Alonzo said, "but...well I dunno, what do you think we should do then?"
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Post by pike on Nov 26, 2011 23:53:42 GMT -5
"I haven't got a clue..." he murmured softly. Then, he sighed. "Not a damn clue. It'd be easier if there weren't others... I know that sounds awful but well... you know what I mean." He sighed unhappily.
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Post by Alonzo on Nov 26, 2011 23:57:14 GMT -5
"Yeah," Alonzo said, slightly uncomfortably, "I know what you mean." He shook his head, "I dunno Munk. Life is getting more and more complicated by the day, I feel like I don't even know which way is up anymore."
Where do we go from here?
A look was given to Munkustrap, slightly pleading, silently wishing that he would just tell him what to do, just this once.
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Post by pike on Nov 26, 2011 23:59:36 GMT -5
"Do we need to decide anything now?" Munkustrap asked then. A simple question, but he had his reasoning. "I mean... think about it. We're both stressed. Stuff's complicated. One bad situation to another. I hurt Kit badly, deliberately. I don't want to hurt you. You're one of my closest friends. Certainly the one I rely on the most. And well... it's hard being in limbo, but I think for now if we kept things the same, friends, if stuff happens... it happens. If it changes later, it changes."
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