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Post by Plato on Jan 3, 2011 1:29:13 GMT -5
"Oh. Yeah. Clothes. Where are my clothes?" Sometimes it was so simple with Plato. Something to quiet him down. And then there was the question, and he looked confused, then baffled.
"Huh?"
He shook his head as he rolled over and tried to sit up, then wincing hard.
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 3, 2011 1:33:57 GMT -5
Alonzo rummaged around for his clothes, quickly throwing them on. He had never been more uncomfortable with nudity before.
Had Plato not heard him? Did he just not care? What do I do?
He opted for staying quiet, sitting down and hugging his legs to his chest, looking down.
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Post by Plato on Jan 3, 2011 1:35:20 GMT -5
Plato grabbed his boxers and pants and slid them on before whimpering almost, struggling with the turtleneck. His shoes came on before he wrapped a blanket around himself and looked at Alonzo. "You sure we had sex?"
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 3, 2011 1:37:58 GMT -5
Alonzo nodded, "yeah, I'm sure." What else was there to say? "Are you OK? Like are you really in pain?"
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Post by Plato on Jan 3, 2011 1:39:48 GMT -5
He was quiet. "Not like seizing pain," was close to searing, "but it hurts a bi--wait a minute. If we had sex, why does my bum hurt and not yours?" Plato blinked a few times.
"... oh don't fucking tell me I let you do me in the butt."
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 3, 2011 1:46:33 GMT -5
"Yeah...I think you did. You don't remember then?" Alonzo felt awful, but at the same time, he couldn't bring himself to regret what they did. He loved Plato, he...wait...Plato said he loved him too.
He said it. He...really did.
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Post by Plato on Jan 3, 2011 1:56:33 GMT -5
Plato pulled the blankets around himself. He looked a bit vulnerable then. Maybe confused more than anything. "I... maybe. I don't know. I can't tell dreams from... I seriously let you fuck me? I completely fagged out and did--I mean, shit, if I was gonna do it with you, I'd be fucking you, I think, I--fuck..." He was lost then. Confused.
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 3, 2011 1:59:28 GMT -5
"Well...umm..." Alonzo stuttered, "I would be OK with letting you do that..." his voice got lower, "if you wanted to." Holy shit, had he actually just said that? Well fuck, might as well go for the grand slam now, "Plato? I said I loved you last night...I just want you to know that I meant it."
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Post by Plato on Jan 3, 2011 2:00:50 GMT -5
Plato felt way too sober for this sort of conversation. He opened and closed his mouth a few times. "... wow."
What could he say? He didn't remember enough.
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 3, 2011 2:06:34 GMT -5
Alonzo hadn't let go of his legs since he'd put his clothes on and he wasn't about to now. He felt so vulnerable, like a kitten. He was supposed to be level headed and confident, now he just felt scared. Scared that he was about to lose his best friend.
A tear rolled down his cheek. He turned his head away, not wanting Plato to see him cry.
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Post by Plato on Jan 3, 2011 2:19:37 GMT -5
"Dude, Lonz, don't, gah..." He shifted before wincing, "Oh man, right in the... urg. Lonz, please don't cry. It's like..." He pulled up the blanket with him, wrapping it around his friend's shoulder with his arm there as well. "It's like... I mean. I don't blame cats for being in love with me and I gotta turn down a lot, you know? I mean 'cause I'm straight and don't do in love but... but this isn't in love, is it? This is love-love, like deep shit?"
Bless him for his attempts.
"I don't get it. I mean. You're my homeboy, you know? But also I like the girls. And I mean, Vicki, she's really something... too good for me, but something. But you..." He frowned. "You confuse me, Lonz."
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 3, 2011 2:25:12 GMT -5
"I...I don't know what to tell you Plato..." He still looked away from his friend, he just couldn't look him in the eye right now. "All I can tell you is I really do love you, and I don't know what to do about it..."
He sniffed, "I confuse you how?"
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Post by Plato on Jan 3, 2011 2:30:38 GMT -5
"You know. You just... confuse me," Plato said, trying to stress the importance of it. He couldn't articulate thinking twice. That he was just as confused. It was overwhelming. Why couldn't Alonzo see that? Alonzo knew him well. He knew Alonzo. But he didn't know Alonzo as the crying type.
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 3, 2011 2:33:37 GMT -5
"Fuck," Alonzo said, wiping his eyes, "I can't remember the last time that I cried." He finally got up the courage to look at Plato again, "do you hate me Plato?"
He wouldn't blame him if he did...it might kill him, but he wouldn't blame him at all.
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Post by Plato on Jan 3, 2011 10:18:27 GMT -5
"Dude, you're scaring me now," Plato said bluntly, squeezing Alonzo to him beneath the blanket. "Like really starting to scare me. This isn't... this isn't you. You're like... you're like all brave-ado, and cocksure, and," now words were confusing him even more as he spoke, and it made him more anxious. And, that anxiety made him only want to talk more.
Plato never liked seeing anyone cry. Well, cry when it was serious. If he made some of the kits cry, sometimes that was funny as shit but that wasn't like serious like this. He really hated it when queens cried.
"God, you're gonna make me so homo, aren't you?"
He leaned forward and caught Alonzo's lips gently, a hand to Alonzo's cheek, thumb brushing by some of the wet tears. He'd consoled a few queens that way before. It was some instinct in him. Alonzo was a natural sort of protector, and Plato was sure that was why he was right behind Munkustrap. Plato was big and aggressive, but that wasn't how his brain worked.
"Hey... don't cry... seriously dude..." He gave a little, shaky smile. "I mean seriously, how lucky are you? How many toms could say that they got to screw me?"
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 3, 2011 10:38:10 GMT -5
Well then, at least Plato didn't hate him, Alonzo thought. He was right though, in his own Plato-like way; this wasn't him, he didn't cry or feel ashamed or any of it. Something about this though, it felt different, this wasn't just something that they could laugh about with a 'wow we were drunk'.
As Plato's lips made contact with his own he froze, feeling sorry for himself was getting him nowhere, and for some reason Plato was taking this well.
At Plato's final statement, Alonzo rolled his eyes and gave a shaky smile to match his friend, "you're right, you're an idiot, but you're right."
There was the question though, still playing at the back of his mind. It had to be said, had to be asked: "So, Plato, what now?"
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Post by Plato on Jan 3, 2011 11:06:42 GMT -5
"What do you mean what now?"
There were a few times Plato's density could be maddening. This, probably, was one of those times. Plato hadn't done a lot of relationships, but he couldn't quite have the playboy demeanor. There were hook ups that he did unabashedly, but when he fell for chicks, sometimes he got a bit blindsided. Victoria had been on his mind quite a bit. And didn't leave. But Alonzo...
Alonzo meant something.
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 3, 2011 13:29:39 GMT -5
Alonzo sighed, wiping his eyes.
"I mean what are we now? You know how I feel, but...what about you? I mean...you know?
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Post by Plato on Jan 3, 2011 14:25:36 GMT -5
Plato tensed up. Okay, he wasn't expecting that. If he were normal, maybe if he weren't so slow at times, he would have gotten a heads up. But, as it stood, he had no idea. He was bewildered. He didn't know.
His mouth opened and closed before leaning back against the pipe. "Shit, Lonz, I don't know. I mean... fuck, I don't know, man. It's like... a lot to think about. I mean, you're my homeboy." Images from the night before were starting to emerge, just a few instances, like Alonzo's weight on top of his.
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 3, 2011 14:39:13 GMT -5
"You're right," Alonzo said simply, "it is a lot to think about. But...we need to think about it don't we? I mean...I just don't know what to think."
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Post by Plato on Jan 5, 2011 11:14:00 GMT -5
"Dude," Plato shook his head. "Dude, I don't know, man. Seriously. This is like.... this is a lot of shit to think about. It's like you're asking for... I don't even know, man. But something. You're asking for something. And it scares the shit out of me."
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 5, 2011 12:12:08 GMT -5
Alonzo patted Plato on the back gently, "don't be scared Plato. I'm not asking you for anything. I just," he sighed, God damn it Plato, "I just want to know how you feel, that's all."
Maybe feelings would be a bit more successful than thoughts, Plato never was one for thoughts.
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Post by Plato on Jan 6, 2011 0:54:21 GMT -5
He got quiet then. How did he feel? "Confused. Really... really confused.." He couldn't help but lean into the hold. "I don't remember too much. Probably nothing if you didn't say anything and my arse wasn't killing me." A hand rubbed over his pants. "I mean. I like queens. Shit, you like queens too, yeah? And I mean, there's Tugger, and well, anyone would wanna do him, I don't care what they say. And then there's..." he paused.
"Well, I just..."
What?
"I don't know," he exhaled. "You're the closest cat to me, you know? You're my boy. I care about you." But was oh so confused.
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 6, 2011 2:02:08 GMT -5
He nodded as Plato spoke, "yeah, me too. I'm really confused, I have been for quite a while and this...what happened made everything just seem so much more...real, you know?" He paused a moment, "I do like queens," he said with a sigh, "it's just, I guess I don't only like queens you know?"
Alonzo smiled at Plato's final words, "and you're the closest cat to me. By a long shot...I mean, we can talk about anything, I tell you things that I could never tell any other cat. I really care about you. You're my best friend Plato."
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Post by Plato on Jan 10, 2011 10:27:30 GMT -5
"Well, I knew that," Plato said. "I mean, but didn't know if it was more than just me. Because like, everyone's in love with me. Just the way everyone is about the Rum Tum Tugger." Good old Plato, good old ego even in the inappropriate times. He wasn't blowing off the sentiment, but he took it as fact.
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 10, 2011 12:14:18 GMT -5
Alonzo sighed, of course Plato wouldn't put any weight behind those words, he thought himself irresistible to all other cats, so why should Alonzo be any different.
He stared at the pipe across from him, "I don't know what else I can say Plato. I've told you everything there is to tell...now I know this scares you, but I think we need to decide on what we are before we leave this pipe. I don't want there to be any confusion or weirdness. "
Yeah, right.
"If you want to leave here and pretend that last night didn't happen then that's fine," an involuntary shudder went through him at that, but he pressed on, "but if you want to pursue this at all...well, you know where I stand."
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Post by Plato on Jan 10, 2011 22:46:55 GMT -5
And, again, there was the pressure, that strong pressure that made Plato nervous because he didn't understand what all it meant, what all the implications were. He looked more pathetic. Alonzo wanted an answer but no matter how many times Alonzo asked the questions Plato didn't get it. Plato hated that, hated that sometimes he couldn't figure his best friend out. Or people in general. It was painful feeling like the dumber one in the room, and knowing he was.
And so, he did what he sometimes would do around his best friend, that friend he could tell almost everything to. Almost.
He whimpered.
It was a tiny sound, but one nonetheless, a sound he only made when he was distressed, when he couldn't figure out what was going on, when he couldn't find the words to articulate what was going on in his head. Everything seemed confusing but he didn't see why it was complicated in the first place.
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 12, 2011 21:24:15 GMT -5
Alonzo melted as he heard that sound come from Plato. He turned and hugged his best friend, pulling him tight to him.
"I'm sorry Plato," Alonzo whispered into his ear, "don't worry about it."
He was putting on a facade of confidence, he didn't believe what he was saying at all. How could things be alright really? Their relationship had changed last night, in Alonzo's mind at least, they had gone from being friends to...well much more than that. There was no way that he could pretend it hadn't happened.
As he looked down at Plato, he realized that he had been naive to think that this would have changed anything for him...or that he could possibly feel the same way. They were drunk...that was probably as far as it got in Plato's mind.
Alonzo willed himself to keep his calm demeanor, he could break down when he was alone...now was for Plato...now was no longer about him at all...
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Post by Plato on Jan 16, 2011 21:11:56 GMT -5
That was what he needed. Just a little bit of that, right then. "You were always the smart one. The one who can think about this stuff." It was hard to articulate the way he thought, mainly because he couldn't figure out his own thoughts. It made him a bit sad.
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Post by Alonzo on Jan 16, 2011 22:21:30 GMT -5
Alonzo just sat there holding his best friend and stroking his hair, hoping against hope that he would decide to love him back. He could play the strong one; he was used to it nowadays. Smart? Perhaps he was, he guessed that it was a lack of wisdom that caused him to act this way.
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