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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 18, 2010 21:10:05 GMT -5
There was only so long that Tumblebrutus could avoid him. Only so long he could live with that sensation of betrayal, that hatred, that... something. He wasn't even sure what it was, but he needed to speak. Needed to find out the answers to his questions.
But cowardice was a problem, and that was why, for the past fifty-two minutes, Tumblebrutus had stood outside of Victor's den, too hesitant to knock, to see if his brother was in. He readjusted his cap so it was backwards before scuffling some more.
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Post by Victor on Jul 19, 2010 9:51:48 GMT -5
Victor banged his head. It hurt. That would teach him to try and get up before he was awake. He walked into a wall.
He was still annoyed that Misto wouldn't tell him how he got hurt. Friend or not, if it turned out to be Plato he would beat the shit out of him.
He also regretted not putting on more than the boxers he slept in when he almost fell over his brother trying to get outside.
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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 19, 2010 9:55:55 GMT -5
Tumblebrutus would have been able to avoid the collision were he not so wrapped up in his thoughts about whether he should go in, or whether he should leave, or any of that. But, he didn't, and there was his brother tripping and almost falling over him, probably still half-asleep or something and--
"Ugh, Victor, do you ever fu--freaking wear pants?"
A sentence. Just a question. The first thing he said to his brother after the avoidance and silent treatment.
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Post by Victor on Jul 19, 2010 9:59:20 GMT -5
"I just got out of bed," Victor protested. "And I've got my bits covered. Why are you lurking in front of my den anyway? Did Mum send you to guilt me into something?"
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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 19, 2010 10:27:42 GMT -5
Brother bickering--in a way, Brutus missed it. It was able to help distract him from the real problem. Until he questioned it, until he brought up their mom.
"Mum has nothing to do with this," he snapped, always protective about her, always close to her. "I don't even know what I could guilt you about!" Oh, that was a big, fat lie. But sometimes lies were necessary...
He frowned and turned his cap around so it sat the right way on his head, ears poking out beneath it. "I wanted to talk. I just... I've thought about every possibility. I thought.. I just..." A stall. "I don't understand. I need to understand... I don't like being mad at you. I just... I need to understand why you... why you were encouraging me with Mistoffelees then just... took him for yourself... and why you didn't tell me."
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Post by Victor on Jul 19, 2010 20:43:27 GMT -5
"I didn't intend to," Victor said. "I just wanted fun, which is all he said he wanted with either of us. I only wanted you to do what you wanted," he persisted. "I thought you wanted to have a tumble with him, nothing serious. But if you didn't want just that, then he was wrong for you, and...something happened between us. I don't know what, but I like him more than anyone else I've been with," A small lie, but Misto would know that "and he'd be bad for you and you deserve better but me and him are bot bad for each other so it works."
That all came out quickly, to the point he was almost pleading with Tumble. He hoped he understood.
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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 19, 2010 20:48:23 GMT -5
"But why is it fine for you, and not bad, but bad for me?" he questioned, genuinely seeming confused, not exactly forgiving but seeming willing to at least listen.
Deserve more? Tumblebrutus found himself frowning, clear disbelief on his face. Deserve more?
"I don't deserve anything. I'm just..." He frowned. Maybe... sort of... he could fathom something. But there wasn't a way to articulate those sorts of thoughts. Not at all.
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Post by Victor on Jul 19, 2010 20:54:25 GMT -5
"You deserve someone who really loves you," Victor said, putting an arm around his brother. "Not just a relationship built on sex. I'll never have a real relationship, so what I have now with Misto...it just works. And we aren't even being exclusive. It's open. Would you really want that?"
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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 19, 2010 21:06:38 GMT -5
Brutus tensed but didn't budge away from the hold. Eventually, his shoulders relaxed. "I don't know," he replied honestly. "I don't know anything." He stalled before looking at the ground, digging at the dirt with his toe. "Pounce says I need to just go for it. If I don't soon I'll end up with blue balls or something."
A valid concern for the youth. Sometimes he knew when his best friend was bullshitting, but other times... most times... Pouncival's word was law. Pouncival knew everything, at least everything relevant to himself. And his mind went to that night they spent cuddled up together, sleeping outside, seen by no one. Brutus grew up craving physical contact, any sort, and he was so warm. So, so warm.
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Post by Victor on Jul 19, 2010 21:15:38 GMT -5
"Blue balls is bullshit," Victor said. "It's the company that it is. A friend there, enjoying it with you."
"And I would tell you only go for it if you want to. Mine was sort of an accident."
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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 19, 2010 21:22:53 GMT -5
"Accident?"
Unknowingly, Victor had set himself up for the barrage of questioning, questions that Tumblebrutus was often too shy to inquire about
"How old were you?" he asked. "How was it an accident? With whom?"
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Post by Victor on Jul 19, 2010 21:27:40 GMT -5
"I was sixteen," Victor said. "Coricopat gave me some nip. It just sort of went on from there."
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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 19, 2010 21:35:44 GMT -5
"... you and CORICOPAT?"
Stunned was an understatement. He was utterly bewildered, and didn't bother trying to hide that state of astonishment. Coricopat confused him. The psychic stuff threw him off, the bond he had with his sibling, everything else. It wasn't so much that he didn't know the other was gay, he never really asked, but it wasn't an issue, just... that it was Cori. It was so strange sounding...
Sixteen--his age.
A more horrific thought came.
"Plato offered me nip once. You don't think he was trying to get me to sleep with him, do you?"
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Post by Victor on Jul 19, 2010 21:38:15 GMT -5
"No," Victor said bluntly. "You don't have boobs, so Plato doesn't want you."
"What's wrong with Coricopat?" he asked. "He's pretty hot if you look, even if he is rather dirty."
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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 19, 2010 22:18:39 GMT -5
"Oh, thank God," Tumblebrutus murmured, though he flushed a bit at the reasoning as to why Plato wouldn't be interested. At least that somewhat ended his morbid thought that Alonzo and Plato were somewhat something.
And, more thought about Coricopat. "He's... so... smelly. I guess I never really thought of him because of that."
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Post by Victor on Jul 20, 2010 0:36:28 GMT -5
"I suppose it smells good once you're, you know, into it."
"I think I was more trying to figure it out," Victor said. "At first I thought I only liked toms, then queens, but then, what about the toms? It was after than I worked out I could like both. I guess you're better at that than me."
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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 20, 2010 0:44:25 GMT -5
His fingers knit together, accompanied by a little bit of a grinding in his teeth. "It's not so much that I could... it's just... I mean, I wasn't so..." He looked hesitant, as if he wanted to say more, maybe to ask more, but refrained. "Can we talk in there? I don't want... I mean... if Mom..."
He couldn't finish. Victor could fill in the rest.
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Post by Victor on Jul 20, 2010 0:48:56 GMT -5
Victor nodded, standing up and walking back inside his den. He could quite understand not wanting their mother to here.
"There's nothing to be ashamed of," he said once they were inside.
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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 20, 2010 0:59:23 GMT -5
He looked around before sitting on Victor's bed, flipping his hat around backwards, exhaling deeply with a sigh, pulling his legs up as he crossed them Indian style.
"I just... I don't know. It makes no sense who I like. There's not much in the way of similarity." He shifted. "I almost lost Pounce as a friend... when my voice was changing and stuff, I got mad and tackled him, and like... got hard." He frowned. "Tugger came by and said it was normal, but Pounce..."
He shook his head a little. "He keeps saying that he thinks I'm gay, that liking Jemima is just me being in denial. But it's not, is it? I mean, I do like her. She's pretty and smart and nice. I just... liked Misto, too..." His voice trailed off, a little bit unhappily. "And... Kamaria... she confuses me. She's cute... and... I think she might be sweet on me." Naivety could be a great thing at times. "Only stupid thing is that Pounce is convinced I want to jump him or something. That's like... that's crazy talk. I mean, I haven't even kissed so why would I do that?"
A nervous laugh. The hanging of his head.
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Post by Victor on Jul 20, 2010 1:03:23 GMT -5
Victor shrugged. "There's a difference between thinking someone is attractive and wanting to sleep with them," he said. "I mean, Plato is hot, even though I'd never tell him that, but I don't want to do him. You have to admit Pounce is good looking, even if you don't want him like that."
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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 20, 2010 1:14:24 GMT -5
Tumblebrutus shifted, certainly uncomfortable. "I haven't really... thought about that. ... at all, to be honest. I mean... I mean, it's not like I've got a lot of friends or anything. And... and you don't check out your best friend. It's just... you don't do that." Another uncomfortable shift, eyes on his shoes, certainly more interesting...
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Post by Victor on Jul 20, 2010 1:28:12 GMT -5
"How many friends do you think I really have?" Victor asked.
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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 20, 2010 1:30:15 GMT -5
"A lot..." he murmured. "I mean, you've got Plato, Alonzo, Admetus... Misto... Cori... I don't really see you not friends with anyone." He rubbed the back of his neck a bit. "I don't want to lose Pounce."
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Post by Victor on Jul 20, 2010 1:36:15 GMT -5
Victor shook his head. "Just Plato, Alonzo and Admetus. I can talk to everyone else, but those guys are my only real friends. Misto is more recent, and complicated."
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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 20, 2010 10:43:07 GMT -5
Tumblebrutus didn't quite see the deal, and he expressed that with the cocking of his head. Three friends seemed greater than one, and aboyfriend... or whatever Mistoffelees was that was so complicated. It didn't really seem that complicated to him, but maybe he was just naive.
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Post by Victor on Jul 20, 2010 10:49:52 GMT -5
Victor sighed. "It's not as easy as you think," he said. "Everyone thinks I'm so easy, so carefree. But it's hard. They think I'm some sort of tom-whore and I haven't even slept with that many. And Plato and Misto don't like each other, but I can't go without either of them right now. Especially if Plato stopped being my friend."
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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 20, 2010 11:02:31 GMT -5
"I don't... get it. Plato's... mean to you. He's mean to a lot of toms. He's kind of rude to queens. I don't get... I don't get why you need him. I mean... Mistoffelees... he's... he's good. I like him. And Alonzo usually's all right... when he's not like... being all queen crazy and like Plato."
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Post by Victor on Jul 20, 2010 11:11:09 GMT -5
Victor shook his head. "Is it any different to how you and Pounce are?" he asked. "The only difference is I'm the third one. Plato and Alonzo are the best buds."
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Post by Tumblebrutus on Jul 20, 2010 19:42:36 GMT -5
"But--" he began, though he didn't finish it. Was it any different? Pouncival was the biggest dick on the face of the planet. His grammar was atrocious. He was obnoxious and could get downright mean... but that'd mean that he was similar to Alonzo, which he couldn't see at all, or Victor, which not only could he not see, but depressed him because it'd mean Pouncival had someone else, someone closer.
"Maybe Electra," he murmured aloud, not realizing his thoughts became vocal in the middle.
"And... it's different.. sort of."
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Post by Victor on Jul 20, 2010 20:12:11 GMT -5
"You just...Don't need to worry," Victor said. "You've got friends, and everything will work out for you. There's nothing to be scared of."
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